I Can Meet Your Needs by Caralyn Cotterell
“I can meet your needs” that has been my phrase this year, and I believe is the reason I am doing HLI in Duluth. When I thought about which HLI site I wanted to go to, I immediately wanted to go to Kansas City, because I had been there before, and because I knew people. It was comfortable, and I knew it wouldn't be as scary. Jesus had a whole other plan.
Growing and deepening your self-awareness is a big part of why HLI exists, and it’s a scary thing. With self awareness comes some awesome things that you never realized about yourself, awesome gifts that God has given you that you didn’t even know you had. However, with it also comes the revealing of some pretty broken parts of yourself that you’ve tried so hard to ignore or cover up. One of those things for me was I had no idea that my whole life I have been running to my family, and to the people around me to get all of my needs met. Spiritual needs, emotional needs, and physical needs, all being met by whoever was closest to me when I needed them.
“I can meet your needs” those words are something Jesus didn’t wait long to tell me. This recognition broke my heart, and I was in denial. Had I really been taking my needs to other people with needs, instead of to the one I KNOW can fulfill them better than anyone around me. No, that would be crazy. Day after day though, Jesus gently showed me more and more needs that I hadn’t been running to Him with. Through the last 7 months, I have been taken through this process of developing a deeper sense of self awareness, so that I have the ability to first notice I have needs, and second to notice that I need to run to Jesus. He has taught me how to pause before every step, and before every word. To pause and ask the question “why am I doing this” or “what needs am I trying to get met right now”
I find that when I am not trying to get my needs met by the people around me, I can love them so much better. I can love them the way Jesus is calling me to. HLI has changed my whole perspective on how much Jesus truly cares for me, on how much He is constantly pursuing a deeper, and more intimate relationship with me. Each day I spend more time with Jesus, I fall more in love with who He is. The fire in my heart grows bigger and bigger the more I experience His joy, His peace, and His never ending love. Jesus WANTS to meet my needs, and He wants to meet yours too. Crazy right?
I believe that the reason I am doing HLI in Duluth is because God knew that taking me away from all the people I was getting my needs met by, was the only was I was going to realize that He's the one that I should have let meet them all along. My prayer is that as I walk out this next beautiful journey Jesus has set before me, that I can take these tools with me: this self awareness, and this ability to run to Jesus with all of my needs, and grow in them deeper. I know that “I can meet your needs” are words that I will remember for the rest of my life.